Ever since I was a teenager I have always had a desire to adopt. I can even remember begging my mom to let me sponsor a child through Compassion. It broke my heart to know that there were children who didn't know or feel the love that I knew. I also knew I was commanded to take care of these children. James 1:27 "Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans..." I didn't really have any excuse.
Once I got married I didn't think as much about adoption. We had discussed it and thought let's just try one on our own first. (There is so much irony in this statement!) So we began to plan to adopt in the future, possibly WAY in the future after we had raised our kids and were kinda "done." Now it kind of dawns on me Wow! How selfish! I wanted to do things my way. Have my beautiful family, receive the glory, then we'd see about adoption. I was trying to be more convenient then obedient. Then we started trying to have our own child and it was difficult. It took us about 7-8 months to conceive. Then after our son was born we were hit with a whole new reality. Long story(that I will tell one day, so stay tuned) short, I can't have anymore natural children. We were faced with this reality a couple months after our son was born and I mourned and mourned over the loss of those children. The children I had dreamed about since I was a kid. The ones that would make us a big family, the siblings to our son. However a few months ago I was told again, but this time with the realities of why. I had a great peace about it. Maybe because I had already mourned the loss of those children, or I remembered how hard my pregnancy was, or I had just accepted a new calling on my life. I had a wonderful peace. And I'm pretty sure I smiled at the Doctor and told him "It's ok, God will give me a child." What started out as a future plan after we tried one of our own(who would end up being our one and only) has now become the real and only option for having more children.
God has opened our hearts and minds and we are so excited for the "not so distant" future. Through this process God has made me aware of the depravity around me. Most days I go through my life living in my "bubble" not paying attention to the darkness and heartache around me. He has definitely made me more aware and sensitive to this through Abba Adoption. Every day woman are choosing death instead of life and innocent babies are dying. My heart aches in a new way, like never before. I have mourned and wept over the loss of these children. And so many times I think we forget the mother's in the equation. Yes what they are doing is wrong but they are still woman that need to know the love of Christ and need to be ministered to. I would love the opportunity to minister to one of these women one day and hopefully reach out in time to save two lives, both physically and spiritually. I was given a second chance and adopted by my Savior, For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons and daughters, by whom we cry, Abba! Father! Romans 8:15. We have to share what we have experienced. In the mean time we pray. We pray boldly that conviction would happen and God would save these babies. We pray that people, brothers and sisters in Christ, would step up and adopt these children, these orphans, who were saved and now have no place to go! We pray for the organizations and people ministering to these women and children. We pray for these women, that are lost, confused, callused and heartbroken. We pray.
God placed a small desire in my heart so many years ago and after much prayer has replaced it with a huge flame. I am excited to see how God will use this and what will happen. I know that heartache and more tears will follow, but in the end blessings and joy will come! I experienced that blessing and joy once before and it has overflowed my heart.
I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. 1 Samuel 1:27
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